Cats can have a low tolerance for being carried around, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they have a low tolerance for hugs.
We confuse the issue if we always hug our cat by walking around with them. We might think they dislike hugs; when it’s really that they dislike being carried around.
Many cats find the whole “being picked up and walked around” thing to be a source of apprehension, especially if it is early days in the relationship or they have had bad handling experiences. It’s hard for them to relax into the hug if they are worrying about where we are going and what might happen when we get there.
Accepting a hug is a gesture of trust.
When we pick up our cat, hug them without moving around, and put them down in the exact same place; we have combined love and respect into an irresistible package.
Once we have our cats’ trust, we can walk around with them in our arms. Still, though mine don’t mind, I shouldn’t absentmindedly head for the door or the refrigerator; this makes my cats nervous. But they enjoy it when we look out the window together or I carry them to the couch for a cuddle session.
Hug and Replace has elements of The Standby, the affection move that involves petting the cat where they are standing. We should begin, and if we get a chance, should end, the Hug and Replace with The Standby. This reinforces our commitment to our cat that we will put them right back where they were.
They put a lot of thought into where they were. They were going to do all kinds of things from there! It would be quite arrogant of us to move them away from where they had chosen to stand, just to suit us. That would not send the message we wanted to send; that of love.
These moves are simply an extension of what I call Petting in Place Principles. When we respect our cat’s autonomy, and regard them as a friend, we will automatically not take the selfish side when it comes to receiving affection. We also want to give it in a way that it will be recognized as such.
Because love should always be a two-way street.
Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
